Advice for dance teachers

Hi Rhee,
Do you think it is OK for studio teachers to be Facebook friends with students? I know that technology is changing our world, but I wonder if this is crossing boundaries between teachers being seen as respected authority figures or buddies. —Maryann

Hello Maryann,
Good question. Facebook can be a valuable tool for both business networking and keeping up with friends and family. I don’t see “friending” students as a problem; instead, I think the key is what you post on your page. If you open your page to your students, it’s important to be aware of the image it presents to them. That means no comments about going out drinking, complaints about being depressed or dissatisfied with your job, or intimate details of your personal relationships. Nor should you post pictures that could be interpreted as indicators of irresponsible behavior. For those reasons, some of your students won’t want to friend you because they won’t want you to see what they’re up to when they’re not at the studio.

However, if you do want to allow your students access to your page, what you post should be what you are willing to present to the world. You can post comments, links, and photos with a positive perspective and limit more personal content to private forms of interaction.

Reconnecting with my former students—and having them connect with each other—through Facebook has proven to be a great perk. Before social networking, I would never have had the opportunity to stay in touch with this special group. Seeing who has gotten married, who is dancing professionally, and how others have become successful in other ways can be very rewarding—but sometimes it does make me feel old!

If you are still nervous about your students friending you, create a separate page for your studio business, where you can interact with students and their parents. Then limit access to your personal page to family and friends. Good luck! —Rhee

Hi Rhee,
I have an office staff member who is often abrasive and rude. Although she is very loving and caring, she struggles with tact when approaching people, mostly when she is stressed or frustrated. I have spoken to her about how to say things and addressed my full office staff on this topic, but I do not think she sees this as her issue; she tends to blame others when called on it. Now staff members are coming to me about her. I am not sure what to do. Do I send her to an “effective communication” course or just let her go? She has been with me for four years and has always gotten the job done. Please let me know what you think. Thanks. —Karen

Hello Karen,
This is not an easy problem to solve, but I do like your idea of sending her to a communication course. She might resist the idea, but you could make her continued employment conditional on attending it and showing changes in her behavior. If she won’t agree to taking the course or things don’t change, then you should replace her.

Some employees don’t recognize that they lack people skills or that others perceive them differently than they do themselves. Sometimes, when otherwise good workers lack communication skills, it is best to give them assignments that don’t require them to interact with the clientele; for example, you might have a smart, efficient, loyal bookkeeper who never answers the phone or deals with parents or teachers. I’m not sure what your employee’s job description is or how important her people skills are to your success, but you might consider letting her do her thing behind the scenes. With that said, a business owner will be a success only if her employees are happy. If this person’s job description is to communicate with the staff, then she’s just not the right person for the job.

Many school owners believe that what goes on in the classroom is what matters most to their success, and I can’t argue the value of that. But I also believe that employees can make all the difference to a school. The office staff and those who answer emails or the phone are the ones who make the first impression, long before potential clients have the chance to see what happens in the classroom. And current clients often become loyal (and stay for years) if they feel respected and appreciated. If they don’t, you might lose a big percentage of your clientele each season, and then what goes on in the classroom doesn’t matter anymore.
Good luck! —Rhee

Dear Rhee,
I own a studio in a small town. I am writing for any advice you can offer in regard to our upcoming recital, because we are at the point where we are selling out our shows. If we don’t change how we do things this year, we probably won’t have enough seats for all of our parents. The theater can seat 1,200 per show, and we have been lucky enough to grow in size a little each year. We have pre-sales for the parents, who are allowed to get up to four tickets at that time. Then, if they need additional tickets, they can purchase them when general sales begin to the public.

I am also concerned with the length of the show. Last year’s was almost 2 1/2 hours, and this year we have more dances, so I might need to shorten the running time. I was considering dividing the classes into two shows (one on Saturday and one on Sunday) and having the older students perform at both. If we split the performances, I worry about trying to keep all the children in one family in the same show, for the parents’ sake.

Booking this theater for multiple weekends is not an option. People have suggested that I simply add another performance, but if the show gets longer every year, that won’t help matters. I realize that I can’t make everyone happy, but I want to find a solution that won’t upset everyone either. Thanks! —Penny

Hello Penny,
I think the best solution is to do two shows. You may not be able to accommodate all the families who have more than one child performing, but you might be surprised at how many you can get into one show. Start by making a list of the families with more than one child, and refer to it as you create each show. Begin by placing siblings in the same show (if possible) and build from there. If you can’t accommodate all of them, you could offer the parents two complimentary tickets to the second show, and in most cases they will be happy with that.

My brother’s school does two shows and can put most siblings into the same performance. Most of the problems lie with the advanced dancers, who usually do end up in both shows, but those parents are used to having their children do lots of performing. I wish you all the best. —Rhee

Hello Rhee,
I moved the sofa out of my observation room, which is now a clutter-free “Zen” space and allows more parents to stand and peek in on class. I’ve never liked the idea of parents “camping out,” and the sofa seemed to encourage that. Parents allowed kids to jump on it like a trampoline, crawl all over it with their shoes on (not little ones, but 8- to 10-year-old brothers). Some used it as a diaper-changing station, and one mom regularly came early and stretched out for a nap while other parents stood.

Here’s what has happened now that the sofa is gone. Last night, the mom who liked to take naps brought in a lawn chair! It’s not like there is nowhere to sit in our studio—we have eight straight-back chairs near the front door so that dancers can sit while waiting for rides.

Should I ignore this? It’s just one mom. Confront it? This problem will spread like swine flu. If you think I should confront it, do you have any suggestions for how to do it? Maybe post a small sign explaining that this space needs to remain open to allow more parents to observe their children? Offer more comfortable seating near the front door? I have 5-foot benches I could put out there, but it would only take one large grandma plopping down on one end to turn it into a teeter-totter that’s not balanced, and she’ll get hurt.

I respect you as the Guru of Sticky Studio Situations. —Kelly

Hello Kelly,
It’s very interesting (and really hysterical) that parents need to be taught how to act in public places. Do not replace the couch. Allowing all parents to stand and observe their child in class without having to worry about waking a sleeping mom is your priority. I’ve always said that the waiting room or lobby should be clean and welcoming but kind of like the airport, where people can relax for a short period of time but can’t lie down or make themselves at home.

I do like the idea of placing a sign that says the space is to be left open to allow more parents to observe and having seating available near the front door.

All the best to you. —Rhee

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